Communication and Mutual Problem Solving

This week we talked about a very special topic that is very important in any relationship you have in your life. COMMUNICATION. Nothing will work out if you do not communicate. That is a fact. As a girl I know that communicating can be hard sometimes. I just sometimes want everyone to just know how I am feeling without having to share it lol. I know that sounds crazy but it really makes sense in my head. I just want them to read my mind. But that is not a healthy way to resolve problems. I remember when I first started dating my boyfriend and we would get into arguments and I wouldn't tell him how I really felt but then would get mad that he did not understand me and where I was coming from. Now that I look back on it I was just immature and not experienced. I did not know how important communication was until I learned that my communication was lacking horribly and it was effecting my relationship with him. He never understood why I would get so frustrated and I would not tell him why I was feeling so annoyed and not wanting to talk. Now that I am older and mature I know now when to tell him I am annoyed and the reasoning. It has helped our relationship so much. Our arguments are rare and when we do, they are short and to the point. Communication is not just for your spouse and you, it can be with everyone you meet. Your first impression with someone involves communication. Your tone, voice and sound. If you meet someone and they are like hey with an annoyed face then I would think they arent interested but if someone says hey hows it going! In a upbeat voice. Then I would think that they are excited to talk to me and actually wants to be there. Texting can also be a hard way to communicate. Everyone uses different ways of texting and that can be hard to learn. I remember I used to text my mom and end it with a !. So i would say " hey mom!" or "okay I am on my way home!" and then one day she said " stop yelling at me. Why are you mad?" That whole time, she thought I was mad at her... I had no idea. A ! means happy to me an d I would use it instead of a period all of the time. Whenever my mom used to use a period I always thought she was mad at me but I realized she wasnt. Communication can be hard but it is needed everyday. Do you have an example of a time when communication was not being used and was needed?

The Family Under Stress

Stress can be a very hard thing to deal with and many do not know healthy ways to deal with it. Many feel that just because they are your family that you are allowed to let all of your stress out on your family because they are your family and that is what they are there for. Yes your family will be there for you and that is what they are there for. Family should be there for you and listen to you and give healthy advice back but that is not how that works a lot of the time sadly. Many of us will blow up on our families when we are stressed and put all of our troubles on them. That is not healthy. Now your whole family feels the burdens and may think that you are mad at them. But that is not right. Family is there to push you up and be a great ear to listen. But family will not be there all the time if you stress them and put all of your problems on them and are always negative. We have to learn healthy ways to deal with stress. I believe that if you are stressed you should take a few hours to relax and meditate before you share it with others or try to fix whatever you are stressed about. Relax for a little bit and collect your thoughts and then come out and share how you feel and what that person thinks you should do. For mormon culture we talk a lot about marriage and how to be with your spouse through difficult and stressful times. It can really strengthen a relationship. Growing up I always thought that marriage got easy  as you went on and that there were not problems. Maybe I felt this way because I never saw my parents argue. But as I have grown up I have realized that that is not the case. Marriage is hard and will not be easy. But a huge part of making marriage work is communication. If you are stressed and don't tell anyone about it or your spouse then nothing will change and you will become frustrated and your marriage could go downhill. In class we were talking about times when stress has brought a family together and many shared very nice stories about times that many of their families were in a stressful time in their life but they worked as a family or they realized the true way to happiness which is family and just learned that even if you seem to have a perfect life or have so much money, that you can still experience stress and family problems. No one is perfect. We all have our own issues and experience stress but the way that we handle it is the way that can really show who we are. Do you have any family stories where you guys experienced stress but came out better in the end?

XOXO
-Claire

Sexual Intimacy and Family Life

Hey Everyone!
This week our topic might be a little taboo and not very comfortable to talk about but it needs to be talked about. Sexual intimacy is a very important part of marriage and can bring the couple together and make them feel closer. A lot of teenagers and young single adults nowadays do not believe that saving that special time for marriage. It is just something fun to do with boyfriends and girlfriends and sometimes even a random stranger. We talked in more detail about how men and women are sexually. Men are known to want to have sex more than women. Now remember that is not always true with every relationship. Women like to snuggle and be more emotionally there and men prefer to be more physical. Girls like to be stable in emotional states and boys like to be stable in physical states. Now that can be very hard and maybe even disagree with others because the boy might feel like the girl doesn't love him because she does not want to have sex with him every night. That is why you need to have a conversation with your husband or wife and explain how you are feeling and find a way on how to meet in the middle. But a lot of the time a husband is not just wanting to have sex just to please him, he wants to be close and comfortable next to his wife. Just because a girl does not want to have sex does not mean that she is not interested in him. Girls just don't have those feelings as much as men do every day. Sex should be very sacred and only between a married couple. We were given sex to be able to create children and bring more children to this earth. But now a days the world has changed the meaning of what sex is. Sex is a pleasurable thing to make 2 people feel good but that should not be the main reason of sex. Sex brings children into the world. Men peak sexually at 18 and 19 and women peak at 30 to 34. It is very interesting how different those ages are. It is very important to talk to your spouse about how you feel and any problems or different ways you are feeling. A relationship thrives with communication. The other person cannot read your mind. They will not know how you are feeling unless you share it with them. It is good to talk about these type of things. Another thing as well that isn't fully on this topic but I think is very important is that I do not think that this topic should be very taboo and hard to talk about with others. When I have children of my own I want to be able to talk to my children openly about sex and other " awkward" topics. I do not want my children to look up those questions online and then read false readings and then they get curious and keep reading and looking up more questions. It can be very dangerous. We need to be more open talking about this and be able to educate our children and not let them be alone on learning about these interesting topics about life.
What do you guys think about this topic?
Have a great week and stay safe.

Cohabiting

So this week we talked about cohabiting and how research shows that if you live together than you are more likely to get a divorce after 5 to 7 years. That is very sad but when you live together before you are married then you are putting yourself in a situation that is not what Heavenly Father wants for us. You have completely different lives, phone bills, car payments, bank accounts and ways of doing things. I just feel like it would be weird living with someone who I wasn't married to. Since you are not married you probably don't share a bank account which I feel like would be awkward like who pays for the groceries every week, who pays the water bill, who pays for rent? Do you have to remember the bills for everything so that you can split it at the end of the month? That just doesn't sound right. It sounds stressful and annoying. We also talked about dating and how we should actually get to know the person before we marry them. Many people just hurry and get married and they barely even know the person. Like do you even know their favorite color? Have you met their parents before? There are a lot of things you should do before you get married to someone. You will be with this person for eternity so you need to make sure you are making a good decision. We also went over that we should go out on dates and not just stay in and watch a movie. You need to get to know the person and go out and experience life with them and how they deal with things in certain situations. You need to know the person you are marrying and to keep dating them even after you are married.

-Claire